Sunday Thoughts...

Recently I've been in a very thoughtful mood which has made me come to a few realizations...

Marc and I were talking last night about my past and the blessings that came from wrong decisions and I realized just how much Heavenly Father led me through some hard times so I could see the light. This story I'm about to tell is very special to me and if you read you'll know more about me than most do...

When I was 17 I found myself pregnant and not married... I was scared, horrified, humiliated and didn't know what to do. In December of that year...(95), my mom took me to the Forgotten Carols which was held at my high school before it was held in a bigger place. I watched and really enjoyed the presentation... I didn't know what I was in for when the end came and he sang some of his famous songs. One in particular hit me the most... Michale McLean sat at the piano playing the top hand to a song over and over... Then he paused, put his head down, began playing again and said, "there's someone here tonight who is going through a hard time and needs to know their Heavenly Father loves them, and they know who they are." Then he began to sing "Hold On, The Light Will Come". I cried listening to the words and thought to myself how special for that person and what a great song... I walked to the car with my mom wanting to cry and also still feeling happy for that person who had been sung to.
Christmas came and we opened the few gifts under the tree, my mom pulled out one small gift that said, "To Heather, Love Santa." I opened the gift and found Michael McLean's CD inside with the words, "Heather I have a special message for you inside." I opened the CD and with tears in my eyes read the words, "Heather, Hold On, Hold On, the light WILL come eventually. Your Friend, Michael.".
I looked at my mom and cried and cried. I asked my mom if this was her doing, if she had asked him to sign a CD for her and whatnot and she replied no. She began to tell me that one day when she got home from work there was a small package at the front door of our house. She took it inside and waited for Christmas to see what it was. That Christmas day so many years ago I knew without a doubt that my Heavenly Father knew who I was and knew what I needed at that very moment. Michael McLean had listened to inspiration at that moment and had found where I lived so I could know I wasn't alone and that I was loved by more than I knew.
Eventually I placed my little daughter and it was the hardest thing I had ever done to that date, but now I know I did the right thing. She is truly happy and has the perfect mother and father and I don't regret for one moment not having her as mine. The moment I saw her little face in the hospital, the thought hit me she wasn't mine and that she was meant for someone else. I love her and her parents very much. When ever this time of the year comes around I always remember that Christmas so many years ago and the new course my life took so many years ago. I love my Savior very much and am proud of who I have become today. I've done many things I'm not proud of in my life, but I'm proud of what they've helped me become.

Merry Christmas my friends and don't forget what Christmas is all about, our Savior, His life and His sacrifice for us all.

What a week...

Well, things have calmed down a bit and I'm very grateful for that. But... Friday Jaidyn came down with the croup which passed on to Hannah and then Shaylee which turned into Strep!! Now, I'm getting a little throat bug and I think it's because of my stress level being up and my immunity system being down. So, now the girls are on antibiotics and we're up several times a night with a chorus of coughs... Can you hear it now? This proves there's humor to be found no matter our situation in life.

Here's to wishing me luck in the battle of the sickos!

Again thank you to all my friends out there for your support and kind words.

I'm back...

Thank you to those who emailed me after my last post. Things aren't better yet, but I'm working on the path to making things better and really feel at peace with the decisions I'm making. I don't know how often I'll be posting, but I will keep my readers updated.

Going to rocky times in life are really hard to handle sometimes. Especially when you feel your plate is already spilling over. I know that with the Lord's help I can make it through anything that is thrown at me. I also found out just how many people care about me and my family, and I am truly grateful for my true friends.

I can forgive what was done to me with time and the path will be long and hard, but together Marc and I can heal our relationship as well as some counseling thanks to the Bishop! We're only human and are destined to make mistakes and I will head the command of the Savior when He said (I'm paraphrasing here) I will decide who to forgive, but of you it is required to forgive... I will, I promise.

Much love to you all...