Need to complain.. It's a long one!

I just have to say this week has been one of the worst ones in a long time.  My mom needed to go to the hospital for what's called a "cardiac conversion" on Monday which is a procedure where the Dr. shocks the heart to get it beating regularly again.  Her heart had been in "atrial fibrillation" which meant the top part of the heart wasn't pumping the blood correctly.  The Dr. let me stay in the room to watch the process and I must say it was horrible yet very interesting to watch.  My mom was so helpless and yet I knew she'd be just fine.  It brought back all the feelings that came when she had her first heart surgery.  She had an aortic aneurysm blow and tear into her heart when I was 16.  I was told she wasn't going to make it through the night and that I needed to make preparations.  Needless to say that scared the hell out of me and I felt a whole rush of those old emotions leading up to the procedure that Monday morning.  I love her so much and realized yet again just how grateful I am for her amazing example for me.

The very next day we found out that a pay check from some side work Marc did for a company wiring their internet and phones for them of over $1000.00 had bounced which sent us into a deep spiral of crap!  I only found out when I was at the store trying to buy milk and a few other things and I had to embarrassingly walk away empty handed and with no milk to speak of.  Luckily I had some coins at home I got together so I could buy another gallon but good grief!  We can't pay rent which was due on the 1st, buy groceries, pay any bills...  Good thing our landlord April is very understanding and is willing to work with us.  The responsible party for the bounced check said he'd cover any fees it cost us which will include any late rent fees and I wish it could cover "pain and suffering".  I've gotten pretty creative with what I've had to cook for dinner to make it exciting for the kids and us.

On top of all that stuff, Hannah and Jaidyn have come down with really horrible sore throats and have had to stay home from school.  We don't really see Marc all week due to his school schedule keeping him away Monday-Wednesday evenings until after the kids are in bed.  Then I have a class on Thurs. nights so I really don't see him or get to spend any quality time with him until Friday and the weekend.  Which leads me to this, he's gone this weekend with some of his guy friends at a cabin up the canyon...  With the week I've had I just wanted a break and some kind of relaxation but there's no money, no time and plenty of frustration.

I can say I've had a few good things happen during all this misery, Jaidyn read his first book all by himself!!!  We're so proud of him!  He just picked it up and started reading... It's called "Stop the tot" from the scholastic phonics sets.  His big sister Hannah has been quite the little teacher helping him learn and it helps he wants to do what she's doing.  I've also learned that children's laughter and loves can melt any frustrations away in a short time.

So, sorry this post is so long but I just needed to rant for a bit.  Thank you for sitting through all this, that means you really care!  Just kidding, love you all!

Jaidyn is turning 5!

My little man Jaidyn is turning 5 on Sunday and I just want to share with you how much I love him and am so proud to be his mother.  He's an amazing little guy with so much spirit and sweetness in him.  Up until just recently he's been a mamma's boy but lately he's becoming a daddy's boy and Hannah is becoming a mamma's girl.  I'm so grateful to be his mother and am constantly reminded daily of his awesomeness and closeness with his Heavenly Father.  Here's some pictures through the years... I love you Jaidyn!  The picture at the bottom shows his tenderness in a nutshell...

 

Another tooth lost!

Hannah wanted me to share with you her lost tooth!  She was so excited as you can see by the pictures.  Today is also her 6th birthday and on the eve of her 5th b-day she lost her first tooth, she she followed suit last night and lost #3.  Off to have birthday dinner and cake now!    
         

The TRUTH

This is what I'm craving right now!

picture courtesy of Free Nature Pictures.

Hannah Banana!

My beautiful daughter is turning 6 on Thursday and I'm so proud of her.  You all should know how amazing she is but I'll tell it from my biased opinion.  She's reading, she's spelling on her own, she's loving, caring and very head strong just like me.  We butt heads a lot since we don't want to back down.  She's an amazing daughter and I am so proud to be her mother.  More like to be chosen to be her mother by a loving Heavenly Father to be her mother.  Here's a few pictures of her from the beginning to now.  Happy Birthday Hannah, I love you.

New Years

This year I'm saying good bye to too much sugar, carbonation and exercising just a bit more.  I've been overweight for far too long and am now ready to change that. 

This past year was better than the last and I'm looking forward to 2010 being even better than 2009.  I'm grateful for the path my life has led me to, trials and all.  I'm grateful for my awesome husband and amazing children.  I'm truly lucky to have such amazing people in my life.  I'm also grateful for my reuniting with my father and for the exciting path that will take me on. 

I wish the best for you this new year and hope you have an amazing journey.

Update

I had my surgery today and it was discoverd that only my right fallopian tube didn't stay sealed after having it done after Jaidyn was born.  My Dr. was also kind enough to take some pictures for me.  I now have shots of among other things, a kidney and my liver.  Pretty fun I think!  I was so sad to have to go in after the possibility of maybe being able to have another baby again but it would have ended up putting my life in extreme danger having to terminate which is something I personally would really struggle with.  All in all, I know what I did was right and I'm so grateful for loving and supportive family and friends.  I appreciate you all!

Temple Square lights!