Spilling my guts...

I have sat down so many times to write and nothing seems to come out that's worth sharing. April and May are typically a reflection time for me regarding my past. I find myself writing about this year after year in journals and here on the blog.

Just this past Monday a special little man turned 15. I can still see his little face just after he was born. He was so handsome and very sweet natured. He hardly cried and the hospital staff let him stay with me the full 48 hours I was in the hospital after he was born. He should have been under the billy ruben lights but I guess it wasn't bad enough so he could wait. I loved snuggling with him, talking to him telling him how much I love him and why I was doing what I was doing. I hoped that what I said was written on his heart and prayed that Heavenly Father would comfort him when he needed it. I like to think that babies are born with memories from the pre-existence to help them cope with the extreme change in their surroundings. I believe that the older they get the less they remember. This gave me comfort when thinking of him going to his new parents so quickly after we met. Today he's an amazing young man. He plays all kinds of sports, plays the drums and is quite the looker. He looks a lot like his birth father but you can see some of him in me. I keep in touch with the adoptive parents via letters every year and they are so kind to tell me what's going on in their lives. I know I made the right choice so long ago... It still hurts though. A piece of my heart went with him when I said goodbye. That part of my heart still hurts and aches although time has lessened the pain. I love you Kaden! God be with you till we meet again.

God's love is never ending

This is taken from a dear friend's blog whom I love very much... You should check out her blog. She writes a lot from her heart.



"My soul is carried in his heart, my tears caught by his hands. In this storm he will not take this away, but he will walk with me. In this storm I will gain strength needed for the battle ahead, in this storm I will learn lessons that God needs me to know. I will hurt and I will cry, I will question and I will wonder but, I will not walk this path alone.

and I will praise him here, I will praise him now, my Father who walks with me in the darkness and the light."

Poem by a dear friend...

My heart was Humpty Dumpty, it sat upon a wall.
Throughout my life, young and old
My heart had oh so many falls.
Sometimes it chipped a little bit,
Other times it completely shattered.
It often hurt, bruised and bumped,
But I wondered if it even mattered.
Was it worth putting back together?
Was it even possible?
I knew I couldn't do it myself,
Was there someone I could call?
Of course there was, but only one.
The one who loved me best.
He came with me and healed my heart
Showed my beauty, gave me rest.
It wasn't without sorrow,
Work and pain companions too.
But oh how worth experiencing
That my Savior has the glue.
His glue not only puts hearts back together,
His glue's not used just for it's stick
His glue is the balm of healing
It's the ONLY glue that'll do the trick,
That puts my heart back together
Makes it stronger than before.
Takes my heart and makes it whole again,
The wounds I feel no more.

Amy Uhl

Wonder By Alex Solomon

Wonder

As I gaze and marvel, wonder and stare,
I wonder if God notices me, somewhere up there.
I wonder if He looks and marvels equally.
I wonder if He laughs and chuckles with glee.
I wonder if I’m looking Him square in the eye,
As He smiles, saying wordlessly, ‘Here am I!’
I wonder if someone else sees what I see.
I wonder if He wonders the same thing as me.
I wonder if after my life is spent,
What He’ll have to say about this say about this single event.
But one thing I wonder, more than anything at all;
I wonder if He’s having fun with it all.

My nephew wrote this poem and I love it. I've been through some struggles personally lately and I really liked how this made me feel. I hope you enjoy it too.

The TRUTH